When news of Lena Dunham’s forthcoming memoir (and the $4 million advance she netted along with it) first hit in 2012, there were plenty of detractors who questioned what kind of life lessons a 20-something could possibly have to teach.
But if the first excerpt released from her upcoming release is anything to go by, it seems she might have quite a bit of advice after all.
Published in the New Yorker this week, Dunham shares an essay extract that’s as candid and funny as you might expect from the Girls creator, who regularly uses her own experiences as inspiration for the writing on the show.
Dunham, who has previously spoken about her mental health, and whose character, Hannah Horvath, mirrors Dunahm’s own experiences with OCD, writes about how as an eight year old she lived in a constant state of fear.
I am eight, and I am afraid of everything. The list of things that keep me up at night includes but is not limited to: appendicitis, typhoid, leprosy, unclean meat, foods I haven’t seen emerge from their packaging, foods my mother hasn’t tasted first so that if we die we die together, homeless people, headaches, rape, kidnapping, milk, the subway, sleep.
By nine her “germophobia morphs into hypochondria morphs into sexual anxiety morphs into the pain and angst that accompany entry into middle school”. And then comes the therapy, where Dunham invites us into her sessions, sharing her emotional search to find the right therapist.
“I am used to appointments: allergist, chiropractor, tutor,” writes Dunham. “All I want is to feel better, and that overrides the fear of something new, something reserved for people who are crazy. Plus, both my parents have therapists, and I feel more like my parents than like anybody else.”
The essay shares her childhood and then teenager therapy experiences, and the mother-figure relationships she cultivates with her female therapists, all in the kind of personal and self-deprecating way that we’ve come to expect from Dunham. It is a refreshing and honest conversation not only about female relationships but also the daily effects of mental illness.
Her memoir, Not That Kind of Girl is out September 30. You can read the full extract here.