The see-saw of compromise in a two-career partnership - Women's Agenda

The see-saw of compromise in a two-career partnership

A few months ago I was invited to attend The Women In Leadership series as an alumni of The AGSM. The drawcard for me was the speaker: Oroton CEO Sally MacDonald.

When you attend an event like this that steals precious time away from your day, the hope is that you’ll walk away with a kernel of information that can add value to your decision-making. Sally’s talk did so much more than that for the women assembled in front of her.

She generously shared her personal experiences of the compromises she and her husband have made for each other’s careers over the years. She took a back seat and supported his career build and then he returned the favour so she could take on the Oroton job. The message resonated with so many in that room.

The thing is in a marriage or partnership where two people have careers, key to the success of the relationship will be compromise. When I married my husband I was already an editor and he respected that. There was no question in either of our minds that I would continue my career post-marriage and with children. It was when we had our first child that the first compromise step was taken. My husband switched jobs within his company so he could work the kind of hours that made it easier for me to return to work full-time. It was incredible of him to do this because in effect he potentially put his own career on hold for me and our child. He understood that it was important to me and my sense of self to pursue my publishing career.

As it happened my husband’s career progressed in his new role anyway and although I haven’t had to compromise my career in terms of hours or location for him, I have always ensured that he was completely free to attend meetings, courses or start earlier/work later without issue. A year or so ago he took some long service leave and travelled around the country visiting friends in other states for a few weeks. Without hesitation I worked out what I would need to do at home to provide him the space to be able to get away for a while. It’s the least I could do given the number of times he has held things up at home while I have been away on business trips.

I have always told my husband that if he wanted to go and work overseas I would be there in a heartbeat. I would be happy to play corporate wife for a while. And I’m not joking. Not just for the adventure or the fact that I would finally have time for a decent manicure, but as an indication of my commitment to be there for his career should he require that. Like Anna Bligh, I have always understood that there are two people in my relationship with careers. And the best relationships are full of compromise.

Have you had to compromise your career for your partner’s?

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