Stress is where the home is (for women) - Women's Agenda

Stress is where the home is (for women)

Research recently released by Penn State University in America indicates that women find work less stressful than home. A study of 122 people showed women’s stress levels were often higher at home than they were at work. I could have saved them a considerable amount of time and money by offering that insight firsthand (as well as a long line of other women to confirm I am not a rare example). 

I have long held the view that unless you work in a childcare centre, where you are responsible for hoards of small children, no job outside of the home could be more stressful than what goes on inside a home with small children. Taking care of even the most delightful and beloved babies and kids requires persistence, patience and physical endurance – around the clock – in a way few other roles do. There is no clearly delineated start, or end, time, with parenting.  And with even the best laid plans and intentions, caring for children is rarely predictable.  

Both times that I have returned to paid work from maternity leave I have experienced the same thing; a dreamy awakening of sorts. I arrive at the office where I’m given space and uninterrupted time to do my work.  There is polite conversation, personal space is respected and there are even opportunities to visit the bathroom alone and to consume a hot drink while it’s actually hot. There are no highchairs to scrub and no small bodies to wrestle into clothes. Even otherwise-tense work issues pale in comparison to battling a totalitarian toddler with an unflinching disregard for her own safety (or her parents’ sanity).

And the best bit, after all those civilised luxuries, is that they put money into your bank account. They pay you.  Truly. It feels like a delicious rort. In many ways work days will feel like the easiest days you’ve lived in months and you get paid for it. The sheer contrast that exists between one’s responsibilities at work and at home with a baby, for example, is stark. At work, responsibilities and expectations are usually clear and carved out. There is often a team working on the same project, or with the same purpose. We understand what’s expected of us and we’re given the time and opportunity to do it. At home it’s not necessarily so simple; the responsibilities are ongoing.

This discovery is only gendered to the extent that it is felt by the parent who has been out of the workforce longer.  Because, by and large, it is still women who take longer breaks from the workforce upon having a baby it is more often women, not men, who then discover work feels like a “break”.

This might explain why the American research found that, in contrast to women, men find work more stressful than home.  I would hazard a guess that men who stayed home for an extended period of time to care for small children might also find work less stressful on their return. Because it’s relative.

It’s also relevant that in Australia (and American) women still do the large majority of unpaid work.  According to the OECD’s latest figures Australian women do about 311 minutes of unpaid work each day compared to men’s 172 minutes.  That is explanatory in relation to the American research. It seems logical that the less work you do at home, the less stressed you will feel at home.  (On this note interesting research has just been released that says fathers who want their daughters to be ambitious need to do more housework) 

At home I often feel like I am juggling more balls – and more balls that are out of my control – than I do at work.  Which do you find more stressful: work or home? Why?

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