Valentine’s Day is surely a celebration of young love. I have no doubt there are also middle-aged couples who have celebrated this day religiously for decades, but the stomach butterflies associated with anticipation must be long gone.
Many of my close girlfriends have been part of a couple for more than a decade. There are benefits to being as comfortable as old socks with your partner. But as we get older there are days when we feel as attractive as an old sock.
One of my forty-something friends recently spent the day at the beach, alone. It was a beautiful day and she felt like taking in some sun. Her husband did not.
While she was lying face down on her towel, stripped down to her bikini, a gentleman of roughly the same age sat next to her and started up a conversation. At first she wondered if he wanted information from her, such as directions. She soon realised that he was settling in for a lengthy conversation.
My friend explained to me that it made her feel uncomfortable initially. She was confused by the banter and jumped to conclusions about what he wanted. But then immediately felt bad about her conclusions.
“Why can’t a man talk to a woman without her feeling that he must want sex?” she asked.
Still, to avoid giving him the wrong impression she says she talked incessantly about her adult children and husband. She basically over-compensated for the fact she was there alone by making him feel their presence with her words.
“There was no way he could have assumed anything else,” she said.
Talk of children and husband did not budge him. He did, however, ask her why her husband wasn’t there with her. When she told him that he simply didn’t feel like a beach day he said, “that’s his loss”.
It became clear that he was flirting with her and he continued to do so until she left the beach.
As she walked away she realised she had a little extra spring in her step. What started as a potentially odd conversation had instead flattered this businesswoman who had mothered two adult children and was facing the prospect of 50 in a couple of years.
I reflected on this story on Valentine’s eve. We tell ourselves that it’s a day for young or new love. Many of us have been married for years, comfortable as old socks. No need for a specific day to remind us that we are loved or desired. And yet along comes a random stranger and flatters a happily married woman for a few minutes. Perhaps it’s time to reclaim this day?
Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day with your partner? Do you secretly wish you did?