A former colleague always orders wine at a business lunch, even if she is the only one drinking. She spends more time examining the wine list than the menu.
There have been occasions when I have felt like a glass of wine over lunch but instead chose mineral water when it was clear that I would be drinking alone. There has been a stigma to solo drinking I think. So I avoid it.
I have discussed this with my former colleague to try to understand why she feels comfortable drinking at a working lunch when everyone else has made a point of saying no to an alcoholic beverage.
She says she simply doesn’t care what anyone thinks of her. If she feels like a glass of wine or three then she’ll order it. Some clients we dined with encouraged her choice to drink. Others appeared a bit more judgmental. While I admire her self-assurance I am always far more aware of the group dynamic and respond to it.
I once worked for a CEO who made a point of rejecting the wine list before anyone else at the table had the chance to decide they didn’t want to order it. It wasn’t necessarily that he was tight with the budget. He believed that it wasn’t appropriate to drink alcohol at a business lunch, especially if there were clients present. On one occasion a client wanted to order wine and he talked her out of it by telling her she would be the only one. The lunches would be small on alcohol-fueled small talk. Business would get done and sometimes deals were sealed over a coherent lunch.
By stark contrast, I once worked for a CEO who would drink to excess at a business lunch and would shame everyone at the table into having a drink with him. If I didn’t feel like a glass of wine he would order one for me anyway and the drink would remain untouched at the end of the lunch. He did the same for everyone at the table. He wanted to drink and he didn’t like to do it alone. His business lunches were rowdy and full of laughter. Relationships were strong. Not a lot of business was discussed but there was always a follow-up meeting in his office, without alcohol, that seemed to result in a deal.
Both CEOs didn’t agree with the premise of drinking alone at a business lunch but managed it in different ways.
What are the social norms around this? Is it ok to order a glass of wine at a business lunch when no one else has?