I read an interesting article on the New Republic website over the weekend suggesting that any gains towards a household tasks gender balance were skewed. While overall the number of hours that men and women are contributing to home and family duties is getting closer (there is still a long way to go but we should acknowledge the gains), men are largely avoiding the thankless tasks.
According to the article, about 55 percent of American mothers employed full time do some housework on an average day, while only 18 percent of employed fathers do. The Australian statistics show a similar pattern. It should be noted that both studies were conducted many years ago but are the most recent statistics available.
Men are more likely to assist with the cooking and childcare than with scrubbing the toilet or mopping the floor. Fathers who care for their children in public are treated as heroes. Who wouldn’t want to be admired? Men who whip up a fantastic meal are fawned over, just like the chefs on those TV cooking shows. What man doesn’t like to feel appreciated?
Tasks like dusting, mopping, vacuuming and cleaning the bathroom go largely unappreciated. No one notices when the house is clean, only when it isn’t. But everyone notices a great meal and there is instant gratification from interacting with your child.
My husband Graeme and I equally hate housework so we just try to get it done when we can. Graeme knows I would rather stick pins in my eyes than do the grocery shopping so he takes care of that task each week. He also looks after everything outside, including the servicing of cars. I do the laundry, iron the school uniforms and generally clean the house. We take turns with the vacuuming because Graeme does a far better job of it than I do. He will load and empty the dishwasher. I wash the sheets and make up the beds. We outsource the ironing of his shirts. But the bathrooms are unfortunately mine to clean. Our sons are learning to scrub the toilet they share but it’s never truly clean unless I head in there with the Toilet Duck.
I could swap the bathroom cleaning with the gardening but I would do a terrible job of the garden. It’s just not my thing. And I know that my husband would do an ordinary job of the bathrooms. So I have abandoned my feminist high horse in order to minimise the number of hours that either of us spend on maintaining our home. Without over-thinking it we have approached our housework on practical grounds.
I think we spend roughly the same number of hours on housework each week. I cook more often because my husband works evenings but when we are together as a family he usually does the cooking. Our sons will tell you that his creations taste better. They request his special dishes, make a big deal about every mouthful and provide a glowing review at the end of the meal. It makes him happy and keen to repeat the effort. No matter how often I clean a bathroom no one holds up score cards. It’s a job done without an audience or a big finish.
So although I have little to complain about in terms of equal hours of housework in my home, it is true that my husband spends his half on the more glamorous of the tasks. Meanwhile I am scrubbing toilets, indicating that the feminist fight may have a way to go yet.
How are your household tasks split?