Gender is about MEN too: How to engage men in gender equality discussions - Women's Agenda

Gender is about MEN too: How to engage men in gender equality discussions

When we talk about gender, we’re not actually just talking about women. And yet too often that becomes the conversation in organisations, especially when determining how to create more gender diverse and equal workplaces.

That was one of the first points academic and author on masculinity Michael Kimmel made during a Q&A session with Maddocks CEO Michelle Dixon at the law firm this morning.

“Most men don’t think gender equality is really about them,” he said. “We think it’s about them, meaning women … We think that gender is another word for women.”

Today, amongst 40 or so senior leaders and HR managers, the men in the room were quick to take part in the conversation. They were passionate and deeply concerned about some of the issues Kimmel raised and clearly wanted to contribute some ideas for solutions.

However, these men no doubt had an underlying interest in the subject matter – after all, they turned up for the breakfast.

How do we get more such men in the room in the first place?

Workplace gender equality won’t get very far without the input of men. That’s why programs like the Male Champions Of Change exist, with so many positions of power still held by men, those in such positions are needed for change. As Kimmel noted, look back on the history of major gender equality movements and you see one common thread: they’re successful because they’ve had input from both genders.

Kimmel believes the first step in engaging men in gender equality at the corporate level is to make gender visible in the first place. “Most men don’t think gender has anything to do with them. That’s where I start by asking questions: Why is gender invisible to men? Why don’t men see it?”

He added that’s how privilege works – and it’s the same with race. The privilege is invisible to those who have it. “It’s a luxury for white people not to have to think about race every day of their lives.”

From there, men need to see how and where gender equality benefits them, just like it benefits women. They need to move beyond the idea that a woman ‘winning’ a promotion, salary rise or something else, results in a male ‘losing’ it.

In large organisations, we can point to plenty of research that backs the business case for diverse teams. Such teams see greater profitability, greater staff retention and greater alignment with customers.

But at a more personal level, other motivations need to be tapped. 

Kimmel outlined research by sociologists Scott Coltrane and Michele Adams that found men who share the housework and childcare with their partners experience a huge range of benefits. 

Their children are healthier and happier and do better in school. Their partners are also happier, and report higher levels of couple satisfaction and less depression. They’re less likely to take medication and see therapists. With more time on their hands, they’re also more likely to stay fit.

Those same men who share the housework and childcare personally experienced excellent physical and psychological benefits. They were found to drink less, smoke less, and take less recreational drugs. They’re fitter, happier, suffer a lower rate of depression and report more marital satisfaction. They’re also more likely to go to a doctor for regular checkups, but less likely to end up in emergency rooms.

But, noted Kimmel, all those benefits for men, their children and they’re wives may still not be motivation enough to convince men of the benefits of gender equality.

So he delivered one final verdict from the research: That men who share the housework and childcare get more sex. When Men’s Health covered the research findings, the UK edition featured it on its front cover with the headline, ‘Housework makes her horny’. 

Gender equality really is a win win. “The companies that have the highest levels of gender equality tend to be quite profitable. The relationships we have that are the most gender equal are the most durable. That’s the case we want to make. This is not a zero-sum game,” said Kimmel.

“It’s in their interest as fathers, as husbands, as men in terms of their own health … It’s not that it’s the right thing to do, and it’s not that it’s in women’s interest, it’s that it’s also in the interest of men.”

Michelle Dixon noted she’s introduced a range of gender equality measures at Maddocks since being appointed CEO. She kicked off her tenure by starting a debate about quotas, a risky move for any CEO to make, let alone somebody who was new in the role. It was agreed that one seat on the board would always go to a woman, and another always to a man. Dixon said it was the discussion the quota move generated that’s been the most beneficial. 

Meanwhile, she’s also put more emphasis on flexible work, set remuneration based on output rather than according to time spent in the office, and introduced unconscious bias training for all partners in the firm. She said they now take a “top down approach” to encouraging women to put their hand up for promotions, and have given all senior staff full access to financial information about the firm, enabling them to see how they’re tracking.

Interestingly, Dixon said many of those taking up flexible work are actually older, male partners who’re looking to cut back on their hours before retirement. It’s a big shift from the often-held view that flexible work is an option for ‘working mothers’ alone.

Indeed, Kimmel said we’ve seen plenty of shifts – shifts that make him optimistic for workplace gender equality in the future.

“Sometimes we focus on how far we have to go, on the other hand I think we have to look back and see how far we’ve come,” he said.

The next shift is to ensure more men see gender equality benefits them as much as it benefits women. 

 

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