On Women’s Agenda, we’re often contacted by women seeking advice on how to get a mentor. They’ve heard the value of a great mentor in building a successful career over and over again, but less about how to actually find such individuals.
So it made sense that for our first My Agenda event, the focus would be on mentoring: not why you need a mentor, but rather how to get one and make the most of such relationships.
It was a good decision. Last night’s event was a sell-out and the panel, which featured some of the country’s most senior businesswomen, had plenty of valuable insights to offer regarding how to cultivate career-changing mentoring relationships.
Joining My Agenda editor Georgie Dent on the panel were Microsoft country manager Pip Marlow, Telstra head of strategic finance Cynthia Whelan, and Cellmid chief executive Maria Halasz.
All three spoke not just about the importance of mentors throughout their careers, but also in “earning” sponsors along the way – those individuals who actively advocate for you and tell others just what you can do.
They confirmed what many of us know: that mentoring really is a great accessory for your career – the ‘new black’ – as it is, given how frequently such relationships are now discussed in conversations regarding women in leadership.
For Pip Marlow, Steve Vamos – a long-time company director and former Microsoft CEO – moved from being a boss to mentor and finally a sponsor. She credits him with helping her build the flexible career map she needed in order to become the tech giant’s country manager. Maria Halasz spoke similarly of her own chairman as her “greatest advocate”.
While such relationships are usually developed internally and with close business contacts over a long period of time, the panel shared what women can do kick off a great mentoring relationship.
According to Cynthia Whelan, that often means going out and actively seeking mentors, something that can be a little more difficult for women than men – who often find the ‘mateships’ they share with others are actually mentoring by another name. Marlow agreed, noting that women bring excellent strengths to the workplace but don’t always excel at asking for help.
“Do I think we’re over mentored? Actually I don’t think we are,” said Marlow. “I think we’ve got to feel more comfortable asking … I get asked to be a mentor frequently, but more so by men than women.”
According to Halasz, it’s important to be active in approaching others. “We women are very good at asking for advice, but asking for action is a different thing. You really have to go to that next level. Once you’re ready, you have to ask for it.”
From there, knowing what you want out of the relationship is essential – as is ensuring there’s some kind of chemistry in the relationship and that you’re both the right fit for each other, according to Marlow.
Whelan encouraged the audience to look for formal industry mentoring programs, saying they’ve produced some of the best mentee and mentor relationships of her career. Alternatively, she suggests establishing clear guidelines and structure with a potential mentor yourself – and always being reasonable in the time you’re looking to get from them.
“When you get these ad hoc requests such as, ‘can I have a coffee?’ I often think they want a job and do I really want to informally interview this person?” she said. “The best approach is to be really clear about what it is you want and to how much time it will take.”
Halasz added that at the very least, she would expect a potential mentee to bring some kind of agenda to the first meeting. From there, she said that if there’s no spark in the relationship there’s not much point in continuing.
Marlow too looks for chemistry in those she mentors, and sets boundaries right from the beginning. “I say, ‘it’s one year’ and in the first meeting we set up the close meeting. We have a definitive end to that part of the mentoring relationship … Then it might move to being more informal … We hold ourselves accountable to what we’re looking to work on.”
Meanwhile, as Halasz noted, you never know where and when you might come across a life-changing mentor. She shared the story of arriving in Australia in 1986 with $50 and a half finished Medicine degree and speaking very little English. She met a law professor who offered some immediate advice, and some suggestions for how she could plan her career in a new country. He became a mentor.
“These kind of relationships sometimes come along in the most unexpectant ways,” she said. “Yes, have a career plan, but yet in your middle years, when you look back, it’s probably not going to look anything like you planned and that’s ok … All these mentoring and sponsorship relationships you have may not work out the way you planned.”
Check back with Women’s Agenda for more from the My Agenda event.