On Thursday, Heather Irvine shared ten things those without children would like their new parent friends and colleagues to know. Today, she turns it around; offering the ten things new parents would like those without children to know.
- It’s hard to believe, but babies are total time-suckers. I’m truly busy, exhaustingly busy (with many ground-hog day monotony moments), all the time.
- I can’t be sure where my time goes. And I often can’t tell you or have very little evidence for what I’ve done. I just know some days I struggle to even use the bathroom or have a shower.
- This job is heaps harder than I ever realised. I’ve never felt so responsible. And most days I feel I get heaps of it wrong. If I have a little cry, please just tell me I’ll be OK (and make sure my house has Tim Tams in it for when you’re not there for reassurance).
- It feels right to make my baby the centre of my universe. My partner revolves around in there somewhere, and you do too. I love you, but give me time to sort out this new whirlwind. I know it won’t always be quite this chaotic.
- When I don’t call for ages, it’s not that I don’t care. Please see my tiny texts or group emails as a huge effort to stay in touch, because they are.
- I worry about loads of things I never even knew I could worry about. This takes up heaps of my headspace and sometimes sends me a little loopy. Please forgive me if I forget your birthday, your phone number and even maybe your name – I forget my own now too sometimes…
- I WANT to make sacrifices for my baby. It’s OK. Truly. I’m all good to stay home when you’re out partying, but if I join you, can we start early? I need to be in bed before 10pm.
- If you come over to my house would you mind ignoring all signs that a tornado has just ripped through? Please only comment if you are offering to help me out…
- If I suddenly have to change plans, run late or can’t meet up, please know I’m as upset as you are. If my baby’s sick, that’s what I’ll have to do. If I’m late because of an unexpected 10-minute clean-up after baby’s poo explosion then that’s what will happen. I’m doing those things because my baby needs me to. It’s not that I don’t adore you and want to be with you too.
- Even if you loathe my baby, pretend you don’t. Even just for a moment. Smile and pick him up. It makes my heart sing to see my special friend with my special baby.
This is an edited extract from Heather Irvine’s new book, The Birth of the Modern Mum: A new mother’s no nonsense guide to looking after herself in baby’s first year.
It’s available in good book stores and at Amazon.