Stop doing and start delegating - Women's Agenda

Stop doing and start delegating

Are you treated like a human Google service at home? Hit with an unending barrage of questions: “Where are my soccer boots?”, “Do we have anything on this weekend”, “What’s for dinner?”, “Did ‘we’ pay the phone bill?”, “Have you picked up a present/wine/dry cleaning for the party?”.

If women were to write a job description of their home duties ‘Do-er And Knower Of All Things’ would be right up there with jobs like master chef, taxi driver and chief picker-upper. In many households, women slip into this role of principal family fix-it person despite often working as many hours as their partner. In fact women are generally on call more hours once you factor in being the ‘go to’ parent and chief driver to and from school, ballet and sports training (another taken-for-granted gig of the rushing family slave working mum).

While our partners might help out a little with the washing or occasional BBQ tour of duty, we’re multi-tasking so much we can’t sleep and never stop. School excursion notes? Done. RSVP to the birthday party? Sorted. Washing machine mechanic? Organised. Groceries? In the cupboard. Doctor’s number, child’s medicine, weekly menu list? Right here, here and there. Meanwhile, we’re always at work on time and NEVER forget the milk en route home.

Research from the Australian Institute of Family Studies shows that working women who have children spend 29 hours a week on household tasks compared with partners, who only do half that amount. So just as we once demanded the right to vote and we’re still demanding the right to receive equal pay, we need to insist on a more equitable divvying up of the family responsibility pie.

It’s time we started passing the buck or at least sharing the load around the daily domestic minutia. Recent figures from the Lifeline Stress Poll show that Aussie women are reporting higher levels of stress (52% for us compared to 37% for men) so trying to be and do all for our families is eroding our quality of life. Here are some sanity-saving strategies to ensure your ‘to-do’ list gets more evenly distributed:

  1. Roster all chores: put up a small whiteboard with chores listed in permanent marker and change the names in non-permanent marker every week.
  2. Channel The Big Chill movie: crank some upbeat music and get the whole family in on the act when washing up/cleaning/gardening. Karaoke while you work.
  3. Delegate: think beyond cooking and cleaning. Older kids can make lunches, change sheets, cut vegies, unpack the dishwasher and fill out school notes. Younger kids? They can put away toys and brush off shoes. Your partner? Can hang out washing, take a day off when your child is sick (really!), pay bills, write a meal plan and do the grocery shop.
  4. Arrange for help: If your budget can stretch to it, outsource jobs like house cleaning and ironing. Sit and savour a cuppa. The full drink. While hot.
  5. Practice saying this: “Ask your father” and “You’ll have to look for it” and “Dad will do that”.
  6. Re-think your lifestyle: If life always equals damage control, recalibrate. Where possible, organise to job-share, telecommute one day a week from home, redraw funds from your mortgage, change to a slower-paced job.
  7. Go on strike: For a week or a month. Hardline? Yes. A touch infantile? Maybe. But guaranteed to ensure your unpaid labour will no longer be overlooked. Before you pick up one dishcloth or daycare note, make demands. Write them down then get every family member to sign off on the contract.

Next time they don’t comply wave the contract around. Make threats. Cuppa time again. Savour one or two just to drive your point home.

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