Work and family pressures: When your wellbeing suffers for others - Women's Agenda

Work and family pressures: When your wellbeing suffers for others

Recently on Parent Wellbeing, we asked parents the question: “Do you think it’s important to look after yourself as a parent?”

One hundred percent of parents said, “Yes!”

We also asked: “Do you believe looking after yourself helps create better relationships with your children and partner?”

Not surprisingly, everyone also said, “Yes!”

We then asked this very important question: “Do you look after yourself?”

Unfortunately, most parents said: “No. Not really.”

These were some of the reasons why parents aren’t looking after themselves:

“Three kids under four years old is what’s stopping me!”

“Juggling work, school, home, husband, and ‘me’ time sometimes gets all too hard so the first thing that suffers is me.”

“Time is a big factor. I’ve just too much on.”

“I don’t look after myself as best I could. It’s mostly lack of money that prevents me from doing this.”

But there seems to be more to it than time, money or competing demands. Some parents also expressed these underlying feelings:

“I’m used to putting my family ahead of myself, and I feel guilty if I do something for myself.”

“While I know it’s important, I guess I’ve forgotten how to value myself.”

“I feel like my needs are less important than other people’s needs.”

“I don’t feel I deserve it.”

As parents, we don’t always value ourselves and our own needs. We put others’ needs ahead of our own.

But for those parents who do find ways to look after themselves, they speak of enormous benefits:

“It helps keep things in perspective, and I don’t get so overwhelmed.”

“I feel recharged and more energized when I’ve had some time to myself.”

“When I’m looking after myself, I’m being a good role for my kids.”

“When I feel happy and nurtured I can be happy and loving with my family and calmer and more patient. I can give the best of myself.”

Parents who do manage to look after themselves, do so in a myriad of ways.

They exercise, eat healthy food, catch up with their friends, go on date nights with their partner, have a massage, pursue a hobby, and try and get enough sleep.

Many parents admit they don’t get to look after themselves as much as they would like, but even a little bit can go a long way.

We all know that raising kids isn’t easy. There are many demands, and seemingly not enough time in the day.

But when we look after our own emotional wellbeing, we get more out of life. We’re less likely to let day-to-day stresses weigh us down, we’re open to learning and growing with our kids, and we love deeply and laugh more.

What do you do to nurture yourself? Are there ways that you look after yourself better? Is there something you can do regularly that would help you to feel healthier and happier and more in love with family life?

Everyone deserves to be nurtured – especially parents.

Do you put your family before your own wellbeing?

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