What to do when you feel out of your depth in a new role - Women's Agenda

What to do when you feel out of your depth in a new role

I am seriously struggling with questioning my abilities. I have just started a new job and I have a lot more responsibility than I did in my previous role. I am worried that I don’t have the experience for the role (although they were aware of my level of experience before they hired me). 

I am too new to ask my bosses if I am meeting their expectations plus I am seriously scared that they will say no! (I am also still within the probationary period). Do you have any tips as to how I could approach them without letting them know that I am second guessing myself on every decision?! All of my friends and ex-colleagues think that I am being paranoid but I think I need to speak to my new employers.

Kate, Marketing

Starting any new role is a challenge, and getting to know your new boss, how they work, what they expect and how they want you to deliver, is a process that takes time. It is perfectly reasonable to request early feedback to ensure you are on track. However, you do want to do this in a way that instills confidence, not that makes them think they made a mistake. I can sense your anxiety around this from your email, so here are some thoughts to hopefully ease your mind and give you some takeaway actions so you can move forward calmly and with positive intent.

Firstly, remember that unless you talked yourself up in the interview process, over inflated your past achievements, or actually lied about your capability, your new employer was aware of your experience and capability when they hired you. Coming back to that knowing when you have a moment of self doubt, or when you think they are expecting someone that you aren’t, may help stop any downward spiral of negative thinking. They want you in the business, and it is in their best interests for you to succeed. So please remember that.

Secondly, any new job takes a while to settle in and to find your feet. In my experience and with people I have managed or coached, this can be up to six months. So allow yourself this grace period before you think you have to know everything about this new role and new business.

Here are some questions for you to think about and actions I would recommend you move forward with:

  1. Are you clear on your objectives? I am hoping when you started you were given a set of key performance indicators, role objectives, or at the very least, key tasks for you to get started on. If this is the case, go back and take an objective look at these, and where you are. One of the critical parts of any success is clarity. If you are clear, see the next step. If you aren’t, then this is a perfectly good reason to request a meeting with your boss. I would frame it as a meeting to review objectives and deliverables for your role, to ensure you can meet expectations. There aren’t many bosses I know who would have an issue with such a request.
  2. Write a list – Sit down and write a list of all your capabilities and past achievements. Look at your strengths and where you have really succeeded. Then take a look at the elements of you new role. How do these match up? I know you are feeling out of your depth, but there must be core components of your expertise that is relevant to the role, or you wouldn’t have been hired. Acknowledge how your strengths are going to add value and put your focus on them.
  3. Are there gaps in your expertise for the role? One of the reasons for a major crisis of confidence like the one you are having, is we see either real or perceived gaps in our ability to get the job done. The first point is to determine whether you have an issue, or just think you do. If there are real gaps, then seeking out a mentor within the business, making connections with your peers, and asking for help from those around you, is a good place to start. Clearly and rationally identify where you need support and move forward to address them (not all of the other nightmare issues in your head).
  4. Where are you making good progress? My guess is you must be doing something right, otherwise you would have heard from your boss by now. Review the work you have done to date. What have you done well? Where is real progress being made? Even highlighting small wins when you are feeling so vulnerable can be a boost to your confidence and help with positive momentum to keep going.
  5. Request a meeting or seek out informal feedback – even if you are clear on all of the above, it is still ok to request a status meeting with your new manager or to simply ask what is working well. If it’s a meeting, framing the discussion as an opportunity to understand how you are tracking and if you are delivering in a way that is serving the business, is professional and often appreciated. It can also be an opportunity to highlight what you have actually been doing, and demonstrate your value and commitment to the work.

As a closing thought, I would suggest having a session with a coach if you have the option, to work through this further, look at any triggers around confidence you may have, and get some support to help you on your path.

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