Tiara Syndrome: How to stop it limiting your career - Women's Agenda

Tiara Syndrome: How to stop it limiting your career

Are you an accomplished professional who hesitates to highlight your achievements, especially when it’s directly connected to asking for a pay rise?

You’re not alone – named Tiara Syndrome by the founders of Negotiating Women Inc and discussed by Sheryl Sandberg in her book Lean In, this ‘syndrome’ affects how women negotiate for pay rises in the workplace. Sufferers of Tiara syndrome work hard hoping that someone (usually their boss) will take notice of their contributions and put a ‘tiara’ on their head, thus eliminating the need to talk about their contributions.

A University of California Irvine study on organisational behaviour found only seventeen percent of women felt responsibility for ensuring their salary reflected their value, while 83% of women left it to their employers to decide how much they were worth.

“Women tend to be more collaborative and inclusive, often playing down their contributions and acknowledging others’ achievements,” explains Jane Anderson, executive career coach at Inside Out Training and Coaching. While this is definitely a strength in some professions which focus on team performances, when it comes to explaining how individual performance justifies a pay rise, women lose out.

Anderson believes the problem can stem from a need for belonging learnt at an early age and a lack of confidence that causes women in the workplace to believe their work will speak for itself. She says that talking about one’s achievements is not the same as bragging – and that there needs to be a distinction between these two behaviours.

Preventing Tiara Syndrome

To avoid Tiara Syndrome, Anderson recommends keeping a journal of achievements in all your different jobs. She advises following the STAR model (Situation, Task, Action, and Result) to show where and how you bring value to your organisation. The journal will add weight to your request when it comes time to negotiate a salary increase or when applying for a new job.

Anderson emphasises that your work needs to align with corporate objectives and your own career aspirations. Failure to achieve such an alignment will leave you unfocused and possibly wasting time and effort on projects the company may not value. A lack of alignment could also signal that you don’t feel the need to promote yourself because there is no end goal in mind — even that you haven’t yet found your life’s purpose.

Career vision and purpose vital
Does reading the above confirm that you suffer from Tiara Syndrome? Anderson says this syndrome can be successfully managed if you stop to consider why you’re not naturally selling yourself to others and realise it may actually come down to a lack a career vision and purpose. In short, if you’re passionate about what you do, this will come across naturally when you talk about your work. Her key tip is to be a visionary when it comes to managing your career, and use this in negotiating for a salary increase.

Start thinking of yourself as a brand – on offer are your skills and abilities in exchange for money. If you can understand your personal brand and market it effectively, this will be reflected in your salary. Think about the touch points that validate your personal brand translating into measurable value for the company. Employee interactions, peer reviews (similar to customer interactions with a product and positive testimonials) will add more to your brand than your own testimonies. Anderson advocates showcasing your passion and achievements through newsletters, displaying certificates, networking, attending the right meetings and putting your hand up for projects that excite you.

Promoting yourself may not come naturally and could feel uncomfortable so Anderson advises identifying methods to promote your contributions that are in sync with how you like to be recognised. For example, standing in front of your peers in group meetings may be your worst nightmare, so how about delivering a presentation on project achievements to your manager during a one-on-one?

Tips for managing a Tiara Syndrome sufferer
If you’re a manager and know a team member who suffers from Tiara Syndrome, Anderson provides the following tips:

  1. Ask the employee what they hope to achieve from their career or current role – having a vision in place makes it easier for the manager to understand the messages the employee needs to be sending to the rest of the team and when allocating future projects.
  2. Identify the ways in which the employee feels comfortable being recognised. For example, if they prefer weekly meetings, newsletters, or team meetings request them to bring in a list of their accomplishments written up with measurable outcomes.
  3. Suggest keeping a journal – Not only does this help the employee keep track of their achievements, it’s also a great confidence boost.

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