Be confident. It’s such familiar advice that slips off the tongue but how straight forward is it to “be confident” at work? Navigating between being who you are and presenting as a confident workplace leader can be complicated.
These five tips will help you cultivate a confident, authentic workplace version of yourself.
1. Find inspiring female mentors
Identify one or two women who project confidence in a way that resonates with you. If you’re an outgoing type, look for women with a similar personality type. If you’re more of an introvert, find quietly confident leaders and take note of how they conduct themselves. Listen to the phrases they use, watch their body language and even take note of the way they present. Think about how you can emulate aspects of their leadership that feel natural to you. Take advantage of any mentoring programs or professional development activities that connect you with confident women in your workplace. If you run your own business try looking to public female leaders for your kind of inspiration.
2. Remember you don’t need to emulate a man to be a confident leader
If you have a masculine management style, embrace it by all means but don’t make the mistake of thinking you have to discard your femininity or embrace masculinity to be a strong leader. Being quietly spoken, for example, doesn’t mean you’ll lose the respect of your team (being passive when you have an opinion to voice might). Assertiveness is required in most workplaces and most jobs but being assertive is not the same as being aggressive. Stick to what feels comfortable for you.
3. Give up filler words
Many women diminish their power by using filler words like ‘just’, ‘maybe’ and ‘actually’. Phrases like these make you sound less confident.
“I was just wondering…”
“I thought maybe…”
“Actually, what about…”
Start by eliminating these words from your spoken content and read over emails before sending to check they don’t sound overly apologetic or passive. A good rule of thumb with any written content is to cut out words you don’t need.
4. Don’t push back for the sake of it
While most of us prefer to avoid conflict, one of the key measures of genuine confidence is staying open in the face of adversity. Be clear about your position and stay true to yourself, but also make sure you’re listening. An overly-ambitious desire for confidence can sometimes lead to inflexibility. Learn to balance your need for strength with being approachable and genuinely open to new ideas.
5. Step out of the shadows and express yourself fully
Women sometimes hold themselves back by not speaking up at meetings, waiting until they understand a project or a concept well before voicing an opinion, or not asking questions for fear of looking foolish. Often these inhibitions are about staying hidden or giving up when you’re frustrated by others who seem to dominate the discussion. Let go of your fear of looking wrong (remember we all make mistakes throughout our careers) and be courageous enough to step forward to be heard. Ask a question, voice an opinion, offer advice. Remember to trust your instincts and to back yourself. Chances are, some of your ideas will be great.